Oneshot Romance!
by Phoenix Oblivion
Summary: Send in your suggestions for a weird, wacky, (and if you want) cross gender couple for me too write a one-shot about! Every chapter is based on a couple sent in by you. The only rule is that NO LEGIT PAIRINGS ARE ALLOWED, and the most random couple is the one I'll choose to write about. Enjoy making me writhe in agony...
1. Introduction:

**So you've probably got an idea of what this is going to be about from the summary, but I'll just go over a quick summary of the rules.**

_**Rules and Summary:**_

**Every chapter of this story is a one-shot based around an illogical, stupid and most definitely random crack couple suggested by YOU! YES, YOU AT THE BACK THERE! It can be any kind of strange or odd couple you want: if it's between two of the same gender, then I'll just have to grit my teeth and go with it. :D**

**But please don't do something like this.**

_My suggestion is for you to write a one-shot between Mosskit and Midnight the badger!_

**Because as funny as that would be for me too write about, how the hell am I meant to make that plausible in any way, shape, or form. I mean I guess I could create a strong connection between them as friends, but as romantic interests it just is so ridiculous that I wouldn't be able to do it. **

**So yeah. Keep the suggestions wacky and funny and weird, but don't make them ****_too _****strange. I'm drawing the line at "Firestar's long lost cousin" and Rock. Oh, and obviously no OC's… for now, anyway. To spice things up I may do one with a real character and an OC ****_which you've described and given personality traits and such. _**

**The only other rule is that no legit pairings are allowed!**

***sigh* And yes, that does mean you can suggest JayfeatherXStick. *smiles weakly***


	2. Oneshot One: TigerXFire (IKR OO)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Uhhhhh... this was SO WEIRD TO WRITE!**

**But I did it, so you'd better be grateful for my pain. :)**

**So yeah, this chapter is FirestarXTigerstar. IKR O_O But I knew this will probably get suggested a lot so I thought it would be best to get it out of the way early. And thank you for all of your deliciously random and hilarious suggestions! However I did find it disturbing someone actually wanted to read a one-shot about BLOSSOMFALL AND PURDY. SERIOUSLY, WTF?! SOME PEOPLE ARE MESSED UP.**

**Nah I'm joking with you Fanfic-To-A-T, you're awesome. XD**

**Anyway, for the first one-shot, I think I've done a decent job. Except for the fact that it was a real pain to get it finished. You know why? I'd originally finished the one-shot, and it was something mental like 7,500 words long, and I read it through. I realised that it was really weird. Not just weird as in it was Tigerstar and Firestar, but as in the description just felt really surreal and bizarre. Like I was describing an alien planet! And that it was really unconnected and felt like it didn't make sense, so I had to delete the whole thing and start again. **

**I made sure to keep it a lot simpler this time, and a lot shorter as well. :)**

**Thanks for all your suggestions, however, I've decided that I'm going to keep a pattern with this story. First of all, I'll do a really really random and stupid couple (this one) and then I'll do one slightly less annoying one. Don't worry, it'll still be a crack ship, except possibly not a cross gender one. Like HawlXIvy. And BTW, all the italic parts are flashbacks.**

** So yeah. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Oneshot Romance: TigerstarXFirestar<strong>

Firestar padded through the forest, trying to keep his paw steps as light as possible. It was dusk- the sun was sinking fast past the horizon line. Night was drawing in like an ominous shadow on the world, but for once, Firestar was glad for the cover of darkness. He didn't want anyone to see him, after all.

The fiery tom had had a long and stressful day. The Clan expected so much of him at the moment... he was standing on the shoulders of giants, and he had no idea how to fill their pawsteps. Too many problems to solve, too little time.

And yet strangely, the biggest one of them all didn't even need solving.

Firestar shook the upsetting thoughts from his mind and continued on his way. The whole of the forest echoed with the cries of owls and the rustling of bushes: any ordinary cat might have been scared by the forest and taken more caution, by of course, Firestar wasn't any ordinary cat. He was the leader of ThunderClan, and one of the most powerful cats in the forest, along with the other leaders.

One of them of which he was going to meet.

He glanced behind him self-consciously, just making sure that no one was following him. He wouldn't have been surprised if someone was; everyone seemed to be following him around. Especially a certain she-cat known as Sandstorm. The light ginger female's affections for the leader were no secret in ThuderClan, and most of his clan-mates expected him to get together with her at some point, and become mates. But they had no idea where Firestar's heart truly lay. They probably wouldn't have guessed the correct answer in a million guesses.

Suddenly, Firestar came to an abrupt stop beside a rotting tree. He knew the place well. Every rock, every boulder and every fallen branch was etched into his memory. The rotting tree was small and hollow, and inside there lay a nest of moss and feathers. Firestar loved the tree, and everything about it. The texture of the bark, the v-shaped parting in the trunk, the twisted branches that weaved in and out of each other like mistletoe, and even the gnarled and upturned roots appealed to his every feeling and comforting memory. He imagined the tree reaching forward and touching a tender spot within his heart, like the cat with whom he met with here seemed to do every time Firestar saw him.

He closed his eyes and sat down on his haunches. His tail rested neatly upon his paws, and he closed his eyes, breathing in the night air. _He_ was due to arrive in just a few minutes, so Firestar just had to wait. The ginger tom hated waiting, but as they said, patience was a virtue, and he was a Clan leader. Firestar just have to grit his teeth and bare it.

He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to wonder. A memory flashed in front of his eyes:_ it was sunhigh. He was in the same place, but it looked strangely... different. It wasn't just the change of light that now illuminated the clearing, but it was clear to see that the scene was younger. The tree wasn't yet completely dead._

But the tree wasn't the only thing that was younger. Firestar was too.

_The young and at the time, naive, ginger tom was standing beside the tree, and peering into the hollow gap. Firestar knew what would happen. He had memorised every word, every second and every emotion that he felt within his system. After all, how could he forget?_

_The only reason that Firestar, Firepaw at the time, had been there at the time was because of a "training exercise" assigned by his mentor, who had also been at the place as well. Inside the tree, to be precise._

Suddenly, Firestar heard a voice. 'Hello Firestar.'

It was deep and gravelly, and held a note of ambitious and undoubted power. But beneath the masculine tone, there was a clear element of softness and sentiment. And for a moment, Firestar thought that perhaps he was still in his flashback.

But when his eyelids fluttered open, he smiled, happy to find he was not.

Tigerstar sat just a foxlength away from him, in a similar position to that of the ThunderClan leader. His deep amber eyes glowed in the intense darkness; muscles were clearly expressed against his massive frame. Firestar's gaze trailed upwards to the v-shaped scar in his left ear, and then to the shape of the curling tree trunk. Every time they met, he always noticed the way the shape of both the scar and the rotting bark were identical.

'Tigerstar.' Firestar breathed, stepping a little closer to the tomcat. 'I've missed you!'

ShadowClan's powerful leader stretched, and then did something that somehow always managed to catch Firestar by surprise. He purred. 'As have I.' He said, calmly.

The two cats stared at each other in silence, before without even asking for permission, they moved forward and their muzzles brushed together. The contact sent lightning bolts shooting up Firestar's outstretched spine. He almost blushed when their whiskers touched and their tails entwined.

Tigerstar smiled (another action that always caught Firestar off guard) and then he pulled away. 'So how are things as leader in ThunderClan?' He asked.

'Not great so far.' Firestar replied, disconsolately. He sighed, and looked at the ground. 'There's an awful lot of pressure on me to deliver everything to my clan-mates without me having any experience.'

'You can do it!' Tigerstar reassured his mate. His clicked his neck and his voice rang out confidently. 'You've protected them from everything so far.'

Firestar flinched. 'It's not just that...' He thought about whether he should tell Tigerstar about Sandstorm. The last time he had told his mate about a she-cat who had had a crush on him, Tigerstar had taken a much more- let's say, apprehensive approach to it. In the end, he decided it would probably be best not to. 'It's just that I feel like everyone's expecting me to do something amazing. When I don't know what to do!'

It was actually only a half lie, but even so, Firestar was thankful Tigerstar hadn't caught up on it. 'I think that you expect far too much of yourself.' Tigerstar retorted. 'You're the kind of cat that was destined to be a leader, Firestar. You just need to get used to the position, and to be honest, I think you're overreacting.'

Firestar didn't answer. He knew there was there no point: he learnt that through many moons of living with and loving Tigerstar that the brown tabby was extremely persuasive, and even if he was clearly wrong, he had a frustrating habit of making himself seem right.

The tom shook his head and managed a weak smile. 'You know, sometimes, I really hate you.'

Tigerstar simply smirked, and winked at Firestar. 'I know.' He stated, before curling his body around Firestar's and pulling him in to his chest. He exhaled deeply, but gently over Firestar's head and rested his jaw upon his mate's forehead. Firestar pressed his nose into Tigerstar's neck and closed his eyes.

_Once more he was fired into the past. He was an apprentice again; such a tender age. He didn't know why he was at the old tree, because it certainly didn't seem like they were doing any training. Tigerclaw was standing inside the trunk, telling Firepaw to wait for a moment. He listened carefully, and heard the sound of him shuffling around. Organising something perhaps?_

'Firestar...' Tigerstar whispered. Their bodies where still pressed together; neither of them had any intention of untangling themselves. 'Should we go into... you know?'

Firestar most definitely knew what he was implying, but he was still half in the past, half in the present. The two were merging together into a mix of memory and not. In a strange way, he could hardly tell the difference. Tigerstar had asked him a similar question when he was an apprentice.

The ginger tom simply nodded, and then his mate gestured with his tail in the direction of the entrance to the tree. They broke apart and padded, side by side, into the shadows of the hollow trunk. Their pelts brushed lightly against each, and when Firestar felt the ground beneath his feet change from soft grass to feathers and moss, the previous intimacy of their touch was restored.

_Tigerclaw finally stopped shuffling around inside the trunk, and called out to Firepaw outside. 'Right.' He said. 'Come inside now.'_

_Firepaw peered inside, a little hesitantly, and tilted his head. 'I thought we were doing training: why do we have to train inside a tree?'_

_His mentor's voice became stern. 'You'll find out when you do as I say, and come in.'_

Tigerstar ducked down a little and began to caress Firestar's stomach fur, producing a long moan of pleasure. He opened up and allowed the ShadowClan leader to push him down onto the nest.

_Firepaw shrugged, deciding to trust his mentor. He took a step forward and entered the rotting tree, his eyes darting back and forth._

_Suddenly, something extended out of the darkness. Firepaw gasped and tried to pull away, but whatever it was had already got a firm grip on him._

Firestar shuddered as Tigerstar leaned down even further-

_Firepaw looked up in shock as he saw Tigerclaw leaning over him-_

_'Firepaw' Tigerclaw whisered-_

'Firestar.' Tigerstar whispered.

'I love you.'

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><p><strong>Reading through, I actually think I probably could've done a little more with this one-shot. There's certainly a lot of room for improvement, and for the next one, I promise a much longer and much more, let's say, rich in detail chapter.<strong>

**Either way, it's a decent start, and I'm glad I've got that one out of the way. :D Bare in mind it was also very awkward for me to write this, so yeah. **

**Keep sending in suggestions, and I'll see you next time with the next one-shot!**


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